11 / 30 / 2023
Dear Friends,
Marcus Aurelius once said “A man’s worth is no greater than his ambitions.” The fact that he used ‘A man’s worth’ instead of ‘A person’s worth’ . . . we’ll chalk up to antiquated ignorance 😜 but the quote itself is still an interesting one.
At alley-oop, we believe Dads and Daughters can help each other grow in so many different ways, but one of the most important areas where we think Dads have unique strengths and perspective are around helping our girls to trust in their own ambitions.
Ambition is a strong desire and determination to achieve something. What that something is, of course, is dependent on the individual person. But having a strong sense of ambition – an eagerness to go for something not yet attained – that fire (when fueled) can be extraordinary.
And we say that we want that for our girls, but . . . do we? Do our actions – and more importantly our reactions - actually portray that? Most can acknowledge the different ways we treat ambitious men and women (ambitious men are called strategic, women are calculating. Men are smart, women are cunning. Men are impressive, women are unlikeable. Sadly, there is a significant amount of data - in addition to political elections - that attest to this.) Is it possible for girls to be both ambitious and beloved? It sounds dramatic, but it’s an honest question girls are often socialized to consider, even if subconsciously. (As a frightening reminder - a big study published last month showed that “55% of 5th and 6th grade girls are afraid to lead for fear of appearing ‘bossy’.”)
At alley-oop, we believe it not only MUST be possible, but that it’s also our responsibility to teach these girls to build and TRUST their own beautiful, ambitious desires! Whatever those may be, their instincts are real, their ideas are powerful, and their character shines even more beloved and brightly when they're going after something they want.
And if our society is willing to encourage and celebrate ambitious men in reaching their goals, then perhaps Dads are in a unique position to help/remind these girls to keep chasing their own . . . 💙💜
